When life gets tough, Hack It! Forget what you previously knew and trust ME, an experienced internet professional, to do the dirty work for you.
(DO NOT TRY ANY OF THESE, LIKE SERIOUSLY, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU EVEN CONSIDER TRYING ANY OF THESE)
Run Out of Toothpaste?
Just use paint! White paint can naturally whiten your teeth for significantly longer than those expensive tubes of whitening toothpaste. No more wasting your time polishing those pesky coffee stains off of your pearly whites!