Can You Finish The Punchline To These Iconic "The Office" Jokes?

If you can fill in all these blanks, then you're meant to be Dunder Mifflin's (acting) branch manager. Find out if you've got enough knowledge of the hit workplace sitcom to pull up a chair to Michael Scott's desk. If you can't pass, you'll get fired faster than Dwight can run. 

Michael: "The Busiest Beaver Award goes to Phyllis Lapin!"

Correct

Michael tries so hard at the Dundie Awards, but always falls a little flat in his delivery, and clearly, his typography.

Incorrect

You chose:

Michael tries so hard at the Dundie Awards, but always falls a little flat in his delivery, and clearly, his typography.

Phyllis: "I thought you said green was whorish?" 

Correct

Angela always responds with the snarkiest comebacks, and they're almost always directed at Phyllis. 

Incorrect

You chose:

Angela always responds with the snarkiest comebacks, and they're almost always directed at Phyllis. 

Dwight: "What's the ratio Stanley nickels to Shrute Bucks?"

Correct

If Dwight decided to start paying the employees of Dunder Mifflin in Shrute Bucks when he was (acting) branch manager, the whole company would go under.

Incorrect

You chose:

If Dwight decided to start paying the employees of Dunder Mifflin in Shrute Bucks when he was (acting) branch manager, the whole company would go under.

Michael: "Jim...James..."

Correct

It's very likely that Michael doesn't know that "Jimothy" isn't a real name, but he'll be confident about it anyways.

Incorrect

You chose:

It's very likely that Michael doesn't know that "Jimothy" isn't a real name, but he'll be confident about it anyways.

Dwight: "I am going to plant my seed in you."

Correct

Dwight tries to give Ryan some business advice, but unfortunately, lots of common phrases are lost on him. This certainly wasn't the right context. 

Incorrect

You chose:

Dwight tries to give Ryan some business advice, but unfortunately, lots of common phrases are lost on him. This certainly wasn't the right context. 

Jim: "Your department's just you, right?"

Correct

Hard to imagine that a paper company has many issues with customer service, but Kelly Kapoor is a solid one-woman show in the annex.

Incorrect

You chose:

Hard to imagine that a paper company has many issues with customer service, but Kelly Kapoor is a solid one-woman show in the annex.

Michael: "I will have spaghetti with a side of salad." 

Correct

Michael was trying to impress what he thought was a mobster by copying everything he was saying, but unfortunately, it didn't translate well with this order.

Incorrect

You chose:

Michael was trying to impress what he thought was a mobster by copying everything he was saying, but unfortunately, it didn't translate well with this order.

Old woman: "What kind of tea is this?"

Correct

Erin goes to Florida with the team to start a new life after her breakup with Andy and doesn't exactly have an easy time adjusting to domesticity. 

Incorrect

You chose:

Erin goes to Florida with the team to start a new life after her breakup with Andy and doesn't exactly have an easy time adjusting to domesticity. 

Angela: "And apparently judging from her outfit..."

Correct

One of the main reasons Jan got fired, though corporate will never admit it, is because she had breast enhancements. Angela might have been on to something.

Incorrect

You chose:

One of the main reasons Jan got fired, though corporate will never admit it, is because she had breast enhancements. Angela might have been on to something.

Kelly: "Well, you know what my middle name is? Rajanigandha, and I hate it!" 

Correct

The Diwali celebration didn't go according to plan, but the office crew got a taste of Kelly's culture for one night. 

Incorrect

You chose:

The Diwali celebration didn't go according to plan, but the office crew got a taste of Kelly's culture for one night. 

Oscar: "The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is D.M.I. Do you know what that stands for?" 

Correct

According to Oscar, that's what you'd have to be to own any stock in Dunder Mifflin. A dummy, a moron, and an idiot.

Incorrect

You chose:

According to Oscar, that's what you'd have to be to own any stock in Dunder Mifflin. A dummy, a moron, and an idiot.

Stanley: "It's true. Around this office in the past, I have been a little abrupt with people. But the doctor said..."

Correct

The iconic CPR episode finds Michael causing Stanley's stress level to go way up, and until he manages his anger, his health could be on Michael's hands.

Incorrect

You chose:

The iconic CPR episode finds Michael causing Stanley's stress level to go way up, and until he manages his anger, his health could be on Michael's hands.

Michael: "No, I'm not going to tell them about downsizing..."

Correct

Michael loves to speak in metaphors that he doesn't understand. The crew never seems to correct him. 

Incorrect

You chose:

Michael loves to speak in metaphors that he doesn't understand. The crew never seems to correct him. 

Pam: "Dwight _____ Angela's cat."

Correct

Angela chose the wrong person to watch one of her sick cats for her. Dwight accidentally killed her and then stuffed her in Angela's freezer. 

Incorrect

You chose:

Angela chose the wrong person to watch one of her sick cats for her. Dwight accidentally killed her and then stuffed her in Angela's freezer. 

Michael: "I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. ______. So sue me."

Correct

Nobody in the office ever forgot the time Michael hit Meredith with his car. Thankfully, she didn't sue. 

Incorrect

You chose:

Nobody in the office ever forgot the time Michael hit Meredith with his car. Thankfully, she didn't sue. 

Dwight: "____ is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year."

Correct

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica. Enough said.

Incorrect

You chose:

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica. Enough said.

Angela: "She’s hypoallergenic. She doesn’t struggle when you try to dress her. She’s a third-generation show cat. Her father was in _____." 

Correct

Angela never has less than five cats at a time, and when she brings this one into the office, her coworkers unfortunately aren't as impressed with her new pedigreed baby.

Incorrect

You chose:

Angela never has less than five cats at a time, and when she brings this one into the office, her coworkers unfortunately aren't as impressed with her new pedigreed baby.

Stanley: "Life is short. ______. That's my motto."

Correct

There is no better Stanley than Florida Stanley. He does drive fast.

Incorrect

You chose:

There is no better Stanley than Florida Stanley. He does drive fast.

Dwight: "Powerpoints are the _____ of the business world. All show, no meat." 

Correct

If you work even half as hard as Dwight, you'll know not to waste your time on Powerpoint. Get right to the point and go straight to your (acting) branch manager instead.

Incorrect

You chose:

If you work even half as hard as Dwight, you'll know not to waste your time on Powerpoint. Get right to the point and go straight to your (acting) branch manager instead.

Phyllis: "I wonder what people like about me. Probably my ____."

Correct

If there's one thing Phyllis has, it's confidence. 

Incorrect

You chose:

If there's one thing Phyllis has, it's confidence. 

Kevin: "The only problem is, when I try to make a ____ I get too excited and I crush it." 

Correct

Nobody loves food more than Kevin, except for maybe Stanley...

Incorrect

You chose:

Nobody loves food more than Kevin, except for maybe Stanley...

Michael: "I want you to rub _____ on my foot. Pam, please?" 

Correct

The morning Michael fries his foot on his George Foreman grill is arguably the worst morning of his life, and Pam's. Does anyone have Country Crock?

Incorrect

You chose:

The morning Michael fries his foot on his George Foreman grill is arguably the worst morning of his life, and Pam's. Does anyone have Country Crock?

Michael: "I love _____. I'd love to be a part of one someday."

Correct

Michael Scott would love to be a part of probably any of these things, but in this case, he's talking about all the inside jokes he's left out of.

Incorrect

You chose:

Michael Scott would love to be a part of probably any of these things, but in this case, he's talking about all the inside jokes he's left out of.

Creed: "I already won the lottery. I was born in the US of A baby. And as a backup I have ____.”

Correct

Creed is arguably the strangest Dunder Mifflin employee, but luckily if things go south he can jet off to the Switzerland branch.

Incorrect

You chose:

Creed is arguably the strangest Dunder Mifflin employee, but luckily if things go south he can jet off to the Switzerland branch.

Creed: "Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? _____."

Correct

The fact that the name of the last person who wronged Creed was named Creed Bratton begs the question... what's Creed's real name?

Incorrect

You chose:

The fact that the name of the last person who wronged Creed was named Creed Bratton begs the question... what's Creed's real name?

Dwight: "I'm fast. To give you a reference point, I'm somewhere between a _____ and a _____."

Correct

Remember the episode where Pam times Dwight while he runs around the building? Blink and he'll do it again.

Incorrect

You chose:

Remember the episode where Pam times Dwight while he runs around the building? Blink and he'll do it again.

Andy: "I wish there was a way to know you're in the ____ before you've actually left them." 

Correct

This Andy quote is guaranteed to make you wish you knew whether or not your good old days have already happened. We're not crying, you are.

Incorrect

You chose:

This Andy quote is guaranteed to make you wish you knew whether or not your good old days have already happened. We're not crying, you are.

Dwight: "Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, ____? And if they would, I do not do that thing." 

Correct

Dwight didn't have any particular idiot in mind when he coined this Shrute life moto. 

Incorrect

You chose:

Dwight didn't have any particular idiot in mind when he coined this Shrute life moto. 

Michael: "Do I have a special someone? Well, yeah of course. A bunch of 'em. ____."

Correct

Aw, Michael. If that's not true love, I don't know what is. His employees think he's something special, too.

Incorrect

You chose:

Aw, Michael. If that's not true love, I don't know what is. His employees think he's something special, too.

Dwight: "You only live once? False. You live every day. You only ____ once."

Correct

Any of these options seem applicable if Dwight said it, but he went for the logical option. He's right, you do only die once.

Incorrect

You chose:

Any of these options seem applicable if Dwight said it, but he went for the logical option. He's right, you do only die once.

Andy: "Oh, it is on. Like a prawn who ____."

Correct

Whatever this means, Andy. The office wordsmith obviously let this metaphor get away from him. The prawn who yawns at dawn?

Incorrect

You chose:

Whatever this means, Andy. The office wordsmith obviously let this metaphor get away from him. The prawn who yawns at dawn?

Meredith: "For my New Year's resolution, I gave up ____... during the week."

Correct

Remember when Michael pretty tastelessly held an intervention about Meredith's drinking? Her giving up drinking during the week was the outcome.

Incorrect

You chose:

Remember when Michael pretty tastelessly held an intervention about Meredith's drinking? Her giving up drinking during the week was the outcome.

Kevin: "Me think, why waste time say lot word ____?"

Correct

Everyone at the office thought something was seriously wrong with Kevin when he started dropping words from his sentences. No, few word don't do trick.

Incorrect

You chose:

Everyone at the office thought something was seriously wrong with Kevin when he started dropping words from his sentences. No, few word don't do trick.

Angela: "The man is wearing ____. He looks like he just got off the boat."

Correct

Casual day didn't agree with Oscar. That'll be the last time he shows his toes around Angela.

Incorrect

You chose:

Casual day didn't agree with Oscar. That'll be the last time he shows his toes around Angela.

Andy: "Sorry I annoyed you with my ____."

Correct

If there's one thing Michael didn't like about Andy in the beginning of his time at the Scranton branch, it's the fact that he just wanted to be Michael's friend. 

Incorrect

You chose:

If there's one thing Michael didn't like about Andy in the beginning of his time at the Scranton branch, it's the fact that he just wanted to be Michael's friend. 

Angela: "I don't want to be married ____ like a hobo."

Correct

While planning her first wedding with Andy, he had the great idea to do a "glamping" style wedding, but she shot it down in favor of a ceremony at Schrute Farms. Not suspicious at all. 

Incorrect

You chose:

While planning her first wedding with Andy, he had the great idea to do a "glamping" style wedding, but she shot it down in favor of a ceremony at Schrute Farms. Not suspicious at all. 

Pam: "How is it possible that in five years, I've had ____ and only one chair?"

Correct

When Pam is trying to scheme for a new office chair, she realizes that somehow, she's been engaged to both Roy and Jim in the time that she should have gotten a new chair. Absurd!

Incorrect

You chose:

When Pam is trying to scheme for a new office chair, she realizes that somehow, she's been engaged to both Roy and Jim in the time that she should have gotten a new chair. Absurd!

The group of school kids Michael promised to pay their college tuition called themselves ____.

Correct

Unfortunately, Scott's Tots were misled. Michael had no idea they actually would remember that he said he'd pay their tuition. Let down of the century. 

Incorrect

You chose:

Unfortunately, Scott's Tots were misled. Michael had no idea they actually would remember that he said he'd pay their tuition. Let down of the century. 

Michael: "The worst thing about prison was the ____."

Correct

Michael is seriously misled about what non-wizard prison is like. No, there are no dementors there. 

Incorrect

You chose:

Michael is seriously misled about what non-wizard prison is like. No, there are no dementors there. 

Pam: "I feel ____ in this Chili's tonight."

Correct

One thing's for sure, no one holds The Dundie's in higher esteem than Pam. Except maybe Michael.

Incorrect

You chose:

One thing's for sure, no one holds The Dundie's in higher esteem than Pam. Except maybe Michael.

Quiz Results

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The More You Know

  • The Japanese created a smoke alarm for those who can't hear, which pumps super-spicy wasabi mist into the air to alert them.
  • The first American woman to go to medical school was admitted as a joke. Geneva Medical School thought it was joke when Elizabeth Blackwell applied to attend 1847. She graduated in 1849, started her own practice, and opened an infirmary for the poor.
  • Tarantula bites are about as painful as bee stings.
  • The longest wedding veil was longer than 63 football fields.
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